Archive for 'Uncategorized'

June 6, 2013 by , under Uncategorized.

 

 

CLPM130-2012FuturesConf_SaveTheDate_gl07.indd

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Web site NEWS is found below as the first column.

All OPINION pieces follow that column.

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November 4, 2013:

Computers are our cars, search engines are our maps, and web sites are places to visit during our drives.

…but, not every trip goes well.

For those of us who own web businesses (FUTURES Antiques was established in 1996), we each have our tech-horror stories.  Most are not humorous. My last seventeen years have been marked with small and gigantic digital breakdowns. When you’re trying to earn a living, these incidents are not good and they do not create nostalgia.

Currently, I own a vintage Ferrari that is stalled on the side of the road.  (Metaphorically speaking)

 

1957-Ferrari-250-GT-California-LWB-Prototype-Spyder

 

As you may have noticed on the Home, News and Information pages, FUTURES Antiques has experienced a major web site crash which somehow made inaccessible my SHOP page with its myriad of galleries: ALL the galleries of antique and vintage furnishings, lighting, appliances, decorative arts, fine arts, clothing, jewelry, folk art, table ware, etc., PLUS all the secondary, non-inventory galleries showing various design, historical, and cultural eras. Attempts to regain or repair the SHOP page have thus far failed.  This hits me where it really hurts.

I’m not a Ferrari expert. I just like driving beautiful, fast cars. So, I’m trying to find someone to repair the breakdown.

 

Here I sit. Stalled. With my huge investment. I may need to rent a Hyundai for awhile.

The road to this FUTURES is (and has always been) paved with glorious things and ideas, great additions for the home and heart, constant activity, honest intentions, and the occasional disaster which burns up time and budget.

So it goes.

You’re invited to visit the Archives section when you’re in the mood to read, and please trust I am working on the SHOP page problem every day as I can.

 

Thanks. Ronn Ives, owner of FUTURES Antiques.

 

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May 13, 2013:  I have added TONS of new photos to existing galleries: 1940s Hot Rods and the Teenagers Who Loved Them“, “Propaganda Posters“, “Beautiful Women“, “Predicting the Future“, “The VERY Best Pin Ups“, “The Best of Rat Rods“, “Dream Cars, Concept Cars, and Nightmares“, “Goofy Cars a.k.a. Folk Art“, I HATE jerk offs“,Yeh, but NEVER MAKE ME SEE THAT animal, human, thing, tattoo EVER AGAIN!”,Really, REALLY Dead Animals“, and a NEW Gallery: Car Wrecks.  REAL Car Wrecks“.  This one is no joke.

April 27, 2013:  A new gallery (just beginning) for you design freaks:  Kid, put down the pencil real slow-like… and back away from your sketch pad!

You’ll find it here:

http://futuresantiques.com/items/index.php/?page=2

32055110013_large

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April 26, 2013:  A new gallery has been built for your enjoyment.  It is called The VERY Best Pin Ups!”  …  and they ARE.

 

george-petty-curvy-pin-up-600x814-410x556

http://futuresantiques.com/items/index.php/?page=2

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April 19, 2013:  A new gallery has been built for your amazement!  It is called The Year of the Futures: Past Eras fantasizing about Future Eras  

http://futuresantiques.com/items/index.php/?page=2

I love Predictions.

They’re so HOPEFUL in their hallucinatory way…

 circa 1900 harry grant dart full paleo-future

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April 18, 2013: The FUTURES Antiques “Best Offer” Gallery has passed on.  It had a good life.  It wanted me to tell you “Thanks for all your support these last few years”. 

Rest in Peace, old friend.

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A new gallery has been built, and can be found on the first “SHOP” page.  It is called Today’s Strange Image Count on it.

 

strange

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April 8, 2013:  Propaganda Posters“.  Here is another new gallery with TONS of great posters trying to convince you to think their way.  They are funny, horrifying, intense, silly, insulting, sneaky, and very often visually beautiful.  Open the gallery from this link:

http://futuresantiques.com/items/index.php/?page=2

china-ad-2-large

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March 1, 2013:  Before Photos Lied“.  This is the name of the new gallery I began today, found at:

http://futuresantiques.com/items/index.php/?page=2

What was Life like BEFORE Photoshop? Before digital cameras? Before computers? I will show you.

Click on the gallery to open it, click on the first photo to enlarge it, then just click “Next” to your heart’s content.

Photos don’t lie.  Life was simpler… and wierder.

 

0606000051-l - Copy

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And, I think you’ll also enjoy this brand new gallery on my web site: EAT HERE: REAL diners – no stinkin’ retro faux-nostalgia ‘ooh remember when’ dining experiences” !! Make it the REAL THING or nothin’ at all, pal !!

http://futuresantiques.com/items/index.php/?page=2

Open it, click on the first shot, then just keep clicking “NEXT” !

Pass me the mustard. The bright YELLOW mustard!

eatretro

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5-22-13:   Currently, I have unresolved photo processing difficulties limiting preparation and posting of new item images.  Please have patience.

 

A challenging GALLERY: Why your animal would leave you if it could.

It is both an “exhibition” and a psychological test. View it. If you look at any of these photos and say “Awwww… ain’t that CUTE!!??“, you may be one of the people whose pets secretly hate you. You can find this gallery on page 2 (“NEXT”) of the “SHOP” page.

 

264586546829877393_zsVAIrqA_b

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AND, I am always adding more photos to my “Beautiful Women” Gallery. It is on the second “SHOP” page. Here you will find the most beautiful women of the last 100+ years (!), including GENE TIERNEY, BETTY PAGE, ISABELLE ADJANI, ZOOEY DESCHANEL, PATRICIA ARQUETTE, MARILYN MONROE, ELIZABETH TAYLOR, CLARA BOW, BARBARA PALVIN, AVA GARDNER, ALICE TERRY, BRIGITTE HELM, VIRNA LISI, NATALIE WOOD, AMANDA SEYFRIED, BRIGITTE BARDOT, and many, MANY more. (If you can identify any of the unnamed women, please send the information to me!)  This gallery will NEVER be complete!  There are so many beautiful women!! 

http://futuresantiques.com/items/index.php/Attractive-Women

                                                                                                                                                                                   13440498858869786_Mf5PZt4g_c

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You’ll enjoy these insights into the world of television and The Wheel of Fortune!

Read this from a man who was there:

I offered an old, t.v. show, game-worn, autographed “Wheel of Fortune” letter here on my web site. It sold. During chats with my customer, I learned he collected W. of F. items due to his being ON the show! I asked about that experience. He responded with this great story. It is absolutely fascinating!

http://futuresantiques.com/items/index.php/out-there

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Growing daily:  I have other NEW galleries on my web site! 40′s Hot Rods and the Teens Who Loved Them“, “Rat Rods“, “Dream Cars & Nightmares“, AND, “‘I woke up screaming… and then I screamed MORE!!’ – Journeys into the Ugly Interior. If you are interested in Concept Cars, Lead Sleds, Low Riders, Decor, creativity, odd things, American culture, and/or other automobiles, you will enjoy these [slightly-hidden-from-view] galleries!

0810rc_01_z+blackie_gejeian+amos_gejeian

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COMING SOON ALL THE TIME: Great things waiting for their portraits!

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You may have noticed FUTURESantiques.com was “quiet” for a few weeks. Virginia was having unusually pleasant weather which allowed me to quietly work alone on the exterior of our home – maintaining what is good and making improvements where needed or wanted – in other words, giving it “the love”. Now, with the change in weather, I’ve come inside and returned to web site uploads and commentaries.

For a sample of what I am doing to our home, click on this link:

http://futuresantiques.dreamhosters.com/items/index.php/?page=2

REMEMBER: IT IS IN PROGRESS but your comments are welcome!

 

IMG_0759_edited-1

 

There is much more to come !!

 

 

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Why care if someone lied to you?

February 16, 2013 by , under Uncategorized.

 

87960998941934909_9t4bytwj_c984dd496cbbf197ded7d5d6334b9846c

 

Yes, this is a Confession.  I collect photos of beautiful women.   I am a Flaming Heterosexual.  I’ve been gratefully married for decades, AND, I continue to love beauty.  Sue me.  I love women.

During my hobby of collecting images, I run across anomalies and outright lies such as what you see above.  One is a fake, one is not.  Feel free to decide for yourself, and, if you’d like, cast your vote here.

 

Personally, I hate liars.

 

 (PS: If anyone can identify the original artist who did this lovely shot, please inform me so s/he can receive proper credit.)

 

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The Hitler Youth are now very old, feeble men

August 14, 2012 by , under Uncategorized.

 

 

 

Yesterday, as I read “I Will Bear Witness”, the diarist Victor Klemperer mentioned (in 1945) having seen a particular child’s 1942 school book.  His comment: “The most terrible hubris.”  It laid out maps of Europe showing how Germany was successfully gaining more (and more) land for The Chosen People – The Uber Race (Germans).  (It does NOT mention the flip side of their coin… the How…)

One tends to forget what TOTAL CONTROL means, because we do not face TOTAL control.  The Nazis tried and nearly succeeded.  Book burning rallies were more Rally than effective destruction of information, but making certain books illegal and death the penalty for owning unapproved books WAS effective.  This of course also meant NEW books were not only needed but desirable as part of the youth propaganda plan.  THIS plan was the most successful facet of their overall attempt to control thinking.  They created the MOST rabid Nazi support among the Aryan children who were growing into adults.  This should come as no surprise.  Malleable minds.

Anyhow, this mention of a 1942 Nazi-designed school book caused my interest, so I tried to find information on the web.  I failed.  I didn’t expect it to be easy… I even used translating programs so I could search for it in the German language.  I failed.  I then thought about asking for help.  I have American friends living in Germany (who know the language).  Perhaps they had insights. 

Good old Web, good old Facebook, good old pal Heidi.  Within moments we were discussing my search, and within an hour she had links to translatable German sites that appeared to have the book I sought.  It was original and available for purchase – and Heidi would manage it for me.  ALL THIS IN AN HOUR, despite the distances, time zones, and the circumstances of the book.

In 2012, I read one mere sentence from a 1945 diary written by a sixty year old Jewish man harassed and hunted by the Nazis 67 years ago.  (Most of his neighbors and friends were already murdered.)  I decided to try finding a 70 year old book meant only for German school children, published for a short time by an evil military-government that was eventually smashed and all its reminders eradicated as fast as possible.  (To this day, it is ILLEGAL to display the swastika or SS symbols in Germany.)  Most of the “memorabilia” was destroyed at the end of WWII BY the Germans – who then wanted to look as “distant” to the Nazis as possible.  “Deniability”.  And here I was, an hour later, after 70 years, with the chance to acquire this same book.

Do any of us REALLY take such moments for granted?

 

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Luxuries

June 26, 2012 by , under Uncategorized, What Really Matters.

 

 

As I have for years, I continue reading material from and about World War Two.  Currently, it’s “Prisoner of the Rising Sun”, written by a survivor. 

First-hand accounts by observant survivors are fascinating.  Most survivors ARE observant – this was a major characteristic which helped them remain alive another day.  Of course with books it helps if survivors can find words to describe what they saw, felt and thought, but even those who struggle later over communication find richer details than those who write from a distance.  We relive their events through eyes burned with sweat and blood, muscles filled with pain, stomachs cramped in emptiness, throats raw from dryness and screams, bodies swelling with disease, and hearts struggling to find enough meaning to reach the end of a day.

 

 

This is a benefit I suspected (hoped) would result from my very conscious choice to study of WWII.  By pure luck perhaps, I’ve experienced little of what much of the resigned world takes for granted.  I’m choosing to be less of a dilettante towards what the eon’s Countless have known as “normal”.  I want to learn MORE in THIS life about what “I” may have faced in others.  I want to gain more appreciation for what I – WE – have available to us compared to most people in any other place at any other time.  I do not wish to live their lives.  My job is to this life of mine now.  But, I DO wish to keep finding the gratitude and humbleness which comes from no longer living quite as edited and insulated.

We love to gripe, compare, wish, and theorize.  It’s a luxury most did and do not have.

And, I AM becoming more and more grateful.  I KNOW it, I FEEL it, and I try to show it.  As I sit here in this COUNTRY – a country flawed-but-better-than-many – in a relatively SAFE neighborhood allowing for lots of large sheets of GLASS to be used as WALLS in my HOME with a new roof, new furnace, and air conditioning system protecting comfortable, lovely, interesting FURNISHINGS of my CHOICE, I use my EDUCATION, MACHINES, and SPARE TIME to communicate world-wide to friends, family, acquaintances and strangers while I consume FOODS and DRINKS made available by OTHERS… and I am grateful.

Today, I sit in this luxury able to PAUSE the odd CAREERS I’ve CHOSEN and give ATTENTION to my maladies by taking MEDICINES created by OTHERS for my use.  Immediately outside MY front door, I have a Duck who decided this spot is SAFE enough she has the chance to nest and birth her babies, and I, not starved, am able to consider giving her some of my food – not make her mine.  It is a luxury.  I understand that.  Her choices indicate so does she.

I move from my warm bed to my water on tap to my toiletry and medicine cabinet to my comfortable clothing.  I move from room to room, snack to drink, machine to machine, and place to place with the ease of privilege not guaranteed by hard work. 

It’s a luxury most did and do not have.


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LOWE’S LOWEST. PRODUCT WARNINGS.

April 4, 2012 by , under Larger Forces at Work, Uncategorized.

4-5-12

Yesterday I sent the following email to Lowe’s “Home Improvement” Center. I did not expect one but I did receive a response. By this time today, I’d had another “Lowe’s Experience”, so I responded back to them.

Here is the entire thread posted on Facebook:
4-4-12,

“Today I sent the following message to the Lowe’s / Kobalt Company:

‘Today I purchased a pair of Kobalt 1/16″ titanium drill bits. I bought them because Dewalt was made in China and you say yours are made in the USA. Upon the very first use of very first bit upon a thin sheet of aluminum, the bit snapped in half. Fortunately, I was wearing goggles. I am in no mood to make another trip to Lowe’s. I will simply shop elsewhere for another brand. Not anger, mere exasperation with the state of things. Feeling lucky I was not blinded. I feel obligated to web-post this warning to others. Ronn Ives, Virginia Beach, VA., USA.’

[Facebookers] You’ve been warned.

Ronn.”

Lowe’s response:

“On 4/5/2012 6:16 PM, CustomerCare@lowes.com wrote:

Good Evening Ronn,

Thank you for contacting me regarding the Kobalt Drill Bits that you purchased. I apologize that the product broke during the first use and I can understand your frustrations.

I have made Senior Store Management aware of the product quality issue and they will contact you within 24 hours.

If there is anything else that I can do to further assist you, please let me know.

Thank you,

Brittany J.

Lowe’s Customer Care

[THREAD ID:1-4DRBD0]”

My second and final response with a ANOTHER product “story”:

“4-5-12

Customer Care,

I did not expect a response, I admit. However, this gives me the opportunity to add “Part Two – My Lowe’s Experience”.

Yesterday, I purchased [what turned out to be] the faulty drill bits in order to put the necessary holes into a thin aluminum mailbox mounted on my home, to which I intended to attach brass house numbers ALSO purchased at Lowe’s.

Of the six screws that came in the packages with the three numbers, TWO screw heads stripped upon merely inserting a proper fitting Phillips head driver and giving them cautious turns. They tore apart as though made of balsa wood. Also, THREE other of the screws broke off in the drilled holes at about 1/4 of the way in – as though they were made of hard candy. These broken-off pieces of screw metal FILLED the drilled holes, so I had to drill MORE holes – REPEATEDLY – in other locations. Once I ran out of the Lowe’s in-package screws (one was remaining, and I tossed it with the other broken ones into my trash can), I went to my garage, took some real screws from my supply of older (saved) screws the same size, and of course they went right in – did NOT strip, did NOT break.

I intend on posting this series of messages on the web. Don’t bother having anyone contact me again. I will NOT make any further purchases from Lowe’s.

Ronn Ives

PS: During my first errand-visit to Lowe’s some months ago, I eventually left empty handed because I could not find STEEL WOOL… and when I sought out three Lowe’s staff on the sales floor, the first, then the second, did not know what “steel wool” was, and the third did not know where to look.

Three strikes. You are SO out.”

 

 

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Thanksgiving 2011

November 24, 2011 by , under Uncategorized.

 

I’m thankful for…
- the use of my body
- the use of my mind
- the use of my spirit
- this life in this time in this country
- my Family, close Friends, Teachers, and pleasant Acquaintances.
My wife rattling around in the kitchen while playing Hank Williams Sr..
I’m thankful for
- my ears
- my memory.
Hot black coffee next to me on my desk in FUTURES as I type these words to you.
I’m thankful for
- my taste buds
- my baby – this business – which has, in its multiple forms, survived longer than anyone could have reasonably guessed
- much – not all – of the digital revolution
- you sitting here reading this right now.
Another sunny, almost-chilly, breezy day at the edge of Big Waters.
I’m thankful for
- my sense of touch
- my vision
- having lived in other places.
E-chatting with one of my oldest friends.
I’m thankful for
- language
- neighbors
- people with senses of humor.
My wife and I watched a faux-documentary entitled “Garden”.  It’s not a documentary if it sets out to boost one agenda while damaging or excluding other pertinent points of view.
I’m thankful for
- moving pictures and sound recording
- the huge selection of obscure films available to us
- my Wife.
This afternoon, we will be gathering with good friends for Thanksgiving.
I’m thankful for
- creative thought and action
- artificial light
- the fact we are both still working, and capable of doing so.
A web order just came in for FUTURES Antiques.
I’m thankful for
- people who speak when they know it will help
- people who make it easier for the next person.
I remember when my next door business neighbor Heidi would arrive from picking up her young daughter Lily at school. Lily is a tiny girl, even tinier than my grand daughter Alexandra. She always said “Hi Ronn” and gave me a casual wave as she walked by, and I always said “Hi Lily” and gave her a casual wave. We were cool.
I’m thankful for
- people who aren’t controlled by age, color, size, nationality, religion, or sex.

 

A TOP TEN survey shows what NO American is thankful for (going from #10 to #1) (go ahead – now – try to guess the #1 gripe in the United States):
- spam
- waiting for repair people
- discourteous cell phone use
- unreliable internet service
- dog poop
- incomprehensible bills
- cell phone use by drivers
- tailgating
- not getting a human on the phone
and the #1 gripe:
- hidden fees

Therefore, I am grateful for
- spam filters
- eliminating business with companies that have long waiting periods
- my store stereo which I’d turn up if someone was being discourteous on a cell phone
- reliable internet service
- a lack of people who let their dogs crap on property I traverse…

- Okay, I’m NOT grateful for

- incomprehensible bills
- drivers who abuse cell phones
- tailgating creeps riding the ass of my car
- anything related to telephone menus, and,

- Okay, I’m NOT grateful for hidden feces, dogs included… wait, what? Oh, FEES not FECES !! ……………………………..Well, same thing.

 

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NEWS from FUTURES Antiques !

September 3, 2011 by , under Uncategorized.

 

 

I am expanding inventory and services related to vintage and antique CLOCKS.  I have teamed with a mechanical and electric clock perfectionist (who has done my restorations and repairs for years).  The difference is we will be pursuing and restoring MORE clocks, AND offering restoration/repair for YOUR existing clocks!   

 

 

So, “WATCH” for more clocks, and if you need yours brought back to life, we’ll handle it in typical FUTURES fashion: thoroughly, correctly, and artistically.

Ronn Ives, owner

 

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Boo! Hiss!!

July 9, 2011 by , under Films, Uncategorized.

 

TOP TEN Worst MOVIE ACTORS OF ALL TIME:

 

Peter Fonda
http://www.filmreference.com/images/sjff_01_img0157.jpg

Keanu Reeves
http://pub32.bravenet.com/photocenter/remote/2724789253/77837CBB62.jpg

Bob Hope
http://www.classictelevisionblog.com/tv/images/2007/06/07/039_37157.jpg

Eddie Cantor
http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/bobhope/images/vcvg49.jpg

Zsa Zsa Gabor
http://www.publishersweekly.com/articles/blog/880000288/20071017/queen_of_outer_space_poster.jpg

Dudley Moore
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/760689.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193875DCB1DD8387ABB5D732A7307F216D4284831B75F48EF45

Meg Tilly
http://www.adorocinema.com/filmes/valmont/valmont01.jpg

Henry Winkler
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/77/039_42337~Henry-Winkler-Posters.jpg

Paul Simon
http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f69/srv1965/Paul%20Simon/annie_hall-paul_simon-woody_allen-d.jpg

Gary Coleman
http://blog.doctissimo.fr/php/blog/monenfance/images/gary-coleman.jpg

Bonus:  The entire cast of “Slacker”.
http://images.salon.com/ent/movies/feature/2006/07/05/slacker/story.jpg
(scene where one slacker tries to sell “Madonna’s PAP Smear test” to some other slackers)  I actually LIKE the movie for other reasons, but the acting is atrocious.

 

 

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TOP TEN MOST OVER-RATED “HISTORICAL” MOMENTS !

July 8, 2011 by , under Uncategorized.

 

1.  Adam & Eve 
2.  The Battle of little Big Horn (Custer’s last Stand)
3.  The kidnapping of the Lindberg baby
4.  The acquittal of O.J. Simpson
5.  The Tate/LaBianca murders by Charles Manson’s followers
6.  The death of Marilyn Monroe
7.  The plane crash deaths of Buddy Holly, Big Bopper, and Richie Valens
8.  The Battle of the Alamo
9.  The successful summit climb of Mount Everest
10. Al Jolson singing “Mammy” in the first “talkie” movie

 

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The End of the World. Again.

May 13, 2011 by , under Uncategorized.

 

 

THE May 13th – 21st 2011 DOOMSDAY PROPHECIES On Facebook

 

 

 

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now: The World Ends in a few daze – May 21st, about 6:30 pm.  I guess I’ll cancel my subscription to “Consumer Reports”.

Sara Collins: SHEW! What a relief! I’m having a really bad week.

Steve Bayer: Can I come by and get those pink and black lamps? I’ll pay for them on the 22nd.

Ronn Ives to Sara: This is WHY, My Daughter. (I’m talking in religio-fashion just to cover my a**.)

Ronn Ives Steve: Thanks for the Faith, but NO.

Steve Bayer: Dang…. I give you an offer you can’t lose on and ya still turn it down. You can’t lose because (A) if the world DOESN’T end, you make the sale… and (B) if the world DOES end, it won’t matter.

Ronn Ives to Steve, Steve, Steve… you didn’t factor in Reincarnation, and baby, I’ll Be Back…

Steve Bayer: Then you make the sale via in-store financing and make even MORE money – imagine the financing charges the account would accrue – 18 years at 9% interest!

Ronn Ives: Let me get out my Official Stone Tablet Calculator, and I’ll let you know how the numbers look.

Kristen Ziegler: Haha.

Ronn Ives: If we have but 8 daze left, I need to get on it right away!

Jason Bayless: Hey Ron, not sure you know this but we interviewed Brother Mike – creator of site http://May-212011.com/ – you can listen to the interview here http://radio.zombie-popcorn.com/?p=787

Ronn Ives: I’ll go, but I’ll be scared!!!!

Ronn Ives: Brother Mike lives next door to me (but I’ve never seen him), and I know he agrees with me about the herds of Thumpers!

Steve Bayer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju9cECjpbbs

Ronn Ives: Suddenly I have the urge to watch the old movie “Sinbad the Sailor”. I dunno why.

Matthew Sult: They said sunset….. is that sunset in the holy land, Eastern Time Zone, does daylight savings figure into this?! Time to reschedule.

Paul Casper: yeah,on zombie popcorn we interviewed one of the main guys from this church, that’s claiming the world will end on the 21st, although, according to them, it’s the rapture on the 21st, judgement day will come some time around October. So, you still have some time to watch more movies.

Steve Bayer ‎@Paul: yes, watch while you can because after judgement day, the only movies available will be “The Ten Commandments” and “The Passion of Christ”. The only television program will be “The 700 Club” 24/7. Welcome to hell on earth.

Ronn Ives: Hey wait! I was wantin’ to watch “Terminator – Judgment Day”!!!!

Kerensa Davenport: Oh, that.

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: The white Irises bloomed before the purple Irises. True!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: (You tell me what Signs YOU have seen!!”

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Herds of increasingly agitated Thumpers – pacing and braying on street corners. True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Jet vapor trails in the sky yesterday made a Tic Tac Toe board! The Game is about up! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: (Give me your Insights!)

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: The bird poop around the edge of our bird bath spelled something!!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Not one driver tried to kill me on I-264 yesterday!!!! THAT scared the hell outa me!! True story!

Bárbara Martins likes this.

Ronn Ives: Were they already taken up or down??? I don’t know!!!!!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Normally, on a day when the wind is blowing to the north, I can hear the Tigers and Elephants at the Zoo. Yesterday, while sitting in my store, I heard NONE of them!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: There was a Silverfish on the bedroom wall last night. I got a piece of wet toilette paper, walked up to it, it stared at me and in its tiny, TINY voice squeaked the letters “P. I. T. A.”. I squished it and flushed it down the toilette. I wonder what it meant? True story!

Chelsey Barnes: silverfish….*shudder*

Ronn Ives: I’ll never forget that tiny, Tiny, TINY voice spelling something cryptic!!!!!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: (YOUR turn! We need triangulated confirmations!)

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I saw a man named Piotr LICK a used vase in public yesterday. True story!

Peter (Piotr) Wozniak likes this.

Chris Edsall Nickel: Now I have to know – why did he lick the vase?

Ronn Ives to Chris:…. you actually expect ME to be able to explain THAT?? I just report what I see. I ain’t no Psycho man!

Ronn Ives to Peter: Do you KNOW that nut?

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Today is FRIDAY THE 13th!!! True story!
Yesterday at 10:08am · LikeUnlike ·

Sara Cauthen Landfear: My first AND second dates with Wes were on Friday the 13th (Feb./March 1987). Thus, the date is redeemed. But your other signs definitely point to the END.

Ronn Ives: Thank you Sara. THIS one had me spooked! The others ones, well, they happen a lot. RIGHT???

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Two daze ago, I had a “crazy” woman sitting out front of my store. She was screaming “in tongues”. Later, when the police drove by, she’d VANISHED!! True story! I can’t make this stuff up!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I sold 2 faux leopard skin pillows yesterday. Not ONE. TWO!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I sold 2 faux leopard skin pillows yesterday. Not ONE. TWO!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Two daze ago, driving down a street that most people fear, I followed a silver Lamborghini Diablo. DIABLO!! Need I say more???? True story!

Peggy Duval: was it red??? cuz I saw it too

Ronn Ives: Sorry. Like I said, it was SILVER. What? You think I make this stuff up? No I do not!!!

Peggy Duval: but mine was red…really!!

Ronn Ives: Double Diablo-y!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I watched a Starling build a nest inside a street light. NOW I know that was a brilliant move!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Last night I watched 3 full episodes of “Da Ali G / Borat / Bruno Show”. I’m doomed to Hell.

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: My wife’s name spelled backwards is “TAP”. Hello? “T.AKE the A.LTERNATE P.ATH”!!?? HELLO????? True story!

I wonder if there are people here who are reading only the first sentence (below) and think all these postings are alike? Man are THEY doomed!!

“As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..”

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: The MONKEY that lives in my backyar…. OH, WAIT! I KNOW WHAT TO DO!! I’m changing my name and shaving my beard off at 6:29 pm on Doomsday!!!!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. I need to change my identity or something…

Robert Bradley Thompson: What timezone are we talking about here?

Robert Bradley Thompson: Or is it a rolling rapture? In which case we should have plenty of notice.

Ronn Ives: I KNEW that would come up. Brother Mike would probably say 6:30 pm Middle Eastern Time, but I’m not sure. I wish I was. It could affect the time I should change my identity.

Robert Bradley Thompson: I was assuming it would start on the international date line.

Ronn Ives: Assume nothing, My Brother in Doom!!

Ronn Ives: Well, it’s time to go… It’s been nice knowing you, it really has.

Matt Strelecki: What’s going on?

Barb Jump: Well, at least you didn’t invest in new shoes. That would have really been a waste.

Jane Lopez: First off I must correct you.. May 21th is Judgement Day.  And second the doomsday part wont come till the 21st of october. So we can enjoy the planet for a few months after the crazies vanish.. rofl!!!

Jane Lopez: Just make sure to avoid the highways.. if ppl really start to vanish I don’t think their cars will go with them…lol

Ronn Ives: Oh, MY bad! Judgment Day! And thanks for the good ad-vice, Jane.

Ronn Ives to Barb: You’re so right.

Ronn Ives to Matt: Judgment Day, man!! Where you been?

Kerensa Davenport: I know you’re not giving up FB… how else can small business do ‘word of mouth’ so effortlessly?

Ronn Ives: True… whenever FB doesn’t censor me, anyhow.

Jane Lopez: Ill contact everyone on october 22 just to make sure we all didn’t vaporize..lol

Ronn Ives: I think that’s a very good idea. Wait… will that work????

Crystal Hagan: Wow I’m lol-ing. I think I’ll go run all my credit cards to their limit. Because ya know what the hell it’s not like I’ll have to pay them!

Ronn Ives: Dear Crystal, There’s some stuff I want. Will you buy it for me? Thanks. Ronn.

Ronn Ives added 3 new photos to the album Things I think I saw…
Things I think I saw…

Kuri Whitedemon, Peter Wozniak, Terry Jernigan and 6 others like this.

Ronn Ives WHAT did I tell you? Judgment Day is a-comin’!!

Ronn Ives Do you SEE how the reflections in this mirror VANISHED??????????? I’m getting spooked!!!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I photographed a mirror laying on the sidewalk, and all its reflections vanished!! True story! Don’t believe me, do you? Okay, I’ll post the photos here!!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Doomsday will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: My wife said it thundered last night, but I heard nothing. This CANNOT be a good Sign!! True story!

Ronn Ives: Pardon me, “Judgment Day”.

Jane Lopez: Judgment day.. doomsday… dnslehfiaw day.. its all the same.. hahahahaha

Ronn Ives: Man! It’s not D’nslehfiaw Day already again is it???!! I didn’t get you anything Jane! I’m so sorry!!!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m., give or take a comet or whatever.

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I am Dyslexic. True story! I often see the True Meaning behind The Things. Re: “Dooms Day”: do you know what “DOOM” spelled backwards is? That’s right!!! Scary, ain’t it?!!

Christine Strickland Barker: Beware Smood Day!

Ronn Ives: I thought Smood Day was last Thursday? I burned a bush and everything in preparation!!! Don’t tell me I did that for NO REASON!!!???

Sara Collins: I am still waiting on SNOOD day. When is that, pray tell. Hope it’s before May 21st!

Ronn Ives to Christine: Yeh, when IS Smood Day? We really need to know!
As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m.. I sold my house yesterday and now sleep down by the creek.

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I dreamed I saw a giant Water Rat! True story! It could have something to do with sleeping down by the creek, but I doubt it.

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m.. Yesterday, I gave all my expensive, fragile, antique Tea Sets to any homeless people who walked by.

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Late yesterday, I saw a homeless man delicately sipping WD 40 from a porcelain tea cup. True story!

Wes Kennedy: Funny. I usually huff WD40 straight from the spray can.

Ronn Ives: That would explain what I THOUGHT was lip gloss…

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m.. I reevaluated my extensive collection of Chick Religious Tract booklets.

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I tried to give my Chick booklets to street corner evangelists – and they ran away from me!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: One person blockethed me from their Facethbook! The Omens are Uponeth Us, truly!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: My OCD has increased. True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I’m wondering if there’s much point in recycling…

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I can FEEL it coming! Yesterday was Friday the 13th… today, it’s the 14th! The Clock Ticketh!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I watched a crazy man walk down the sidewalk like one of those movie Zombies. A couple blocks down, he sat on a bus bench. If the bus stopped, it would take him back UP the street, and he would’ve gotten nowhere!! This was one scary Sign!!!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, about 6:30 p.m.. It’s only one week away, today. “WEEK” = “WEAK” ! Get it??

I’ve seen all The Signs.

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now: The World Ends in a few daze – May 21st, about 6:30 pm.

I’m thinking of doing that thing I wanted to do but was afraid of getting caught except now I guess there’s nothing to lose so I’ll go ahead and do it.

Who’s with me!!!?????

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now: The World Ends in a few daze – May 21st, about 6:30 pm.

I’m thinking of doing that thing I wanted to do but was afraid of getting caught except now I guess there’s nothing to lose so I’ll go ahead and do it…

Ronn Ives:  I have long hair, but it’s getting thin, so I’m going to do a massive comb-over into a hair sculpture of a duck just as it’s taking off from a pond. It’ll be really cool. I’ll need someone to spray it into place as I work. If you don’t have any plans for Doomsday, would you help?

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now: The World Ends in a few daze – May 21st, about 6:30 pm. That’s NEXT Saturday… so, um, THIS is our LAST FULL SATURDAY NIGHT! Par-tay har-day! or something…

Larry Ives: I guess i won’t have to work monday or anytime after that

Ronn Ives: You CAN if you WANT!

Larry Ives: I’ll call in dead.

Ronn Ives: As you must know by now: The World Ends in a few daze – May 21st, about 6:30 pm. That’s NEXT Saturday… so, um, you have 1 hour and 42 minutes left of the Last Full Saturday Night. FEVER time !!!!!

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Our brains are slowly being turned off in preparation for the Rapture. I watched “i, Robot” tonight and enjoyed my drooling. True story!

Peter Wozniak Great movie lol…whats your favorite scene?!??

Ronn Ives The one where Will Smith takes all that insane punishment and is still able to crack a joke. Oh wait, that’s the ENTIRE movie…

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day WILL be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Here’s another example to add to the list of hundreds I’ve written below: My insensitivity to Life has now been shown to me. For the first time EVER, as I drove home after work on the freeway, I had the stereo OFF. It was THEN I heard…

Ronn Ives: ‎…tiny little screams as bugs hit my windshield. True story! All these years… I’ve been so cruel… so oblivious. Oh, and get this – I drive a Volkswagen Karma Ghia. Yeh, I know!!! I am SO DOOMED.

Kristen Menefee Runberg: So roll with it…https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121968371215699

Ronn Ives: I joined! I’m gonna loot FUTURES Antiques!

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day WILL be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Here’s another example to add to the list of hundreds I’ve written below: There is a tree near my store that has a face in the bark. Every day it scares me. I tore off its nose. I am SO DOOMED.

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day WILL be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

To all of you with birthdays after May 21st, let me wish you an early Happy Birthday, and may you have many, ma…. uh… maybe you should go out tonight and celebrate…

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Normally, when I catch someone spraying graffiti, I blind and cripple them. There’s a new one in the hood. I’m gonna give him a pass. He has only to May 21st anyhow… plus, I hate it when they’re screaming out those fake apologies.

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

HERE’S A QUESTION FOR YOU:

SINCE YOU HAVE ONLY 6 MORE DAYS…

WHAT MOVIES WILL YOU WATCH???????????????

One of mine will be “The Green Pastures” (1936).

Matt Strelecki: Armageddon.

Ronn Ives: A FINE choice, sir. Fine choice.

Jane Lopez: Apocalypto..since I might not get to see it in 2012

Ronn Ives: Ah, also a wise choice. You two are helping me plan my week!

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. No, REALLY!  Example:  There was no bird poop in the bird bath this morning.  True story!

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Actually, I can’t tell you about THIS ONE yet (because it hasn’t happened), but I expect a weird sale in my store today. True story (when I report it)! Watch for it!!!! I’m already nervous!

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I walk outside my home this morning. Out in front yard was a baby rabbit about the size of an apple, I swear. Then I walked around to the back, and there was the rabbit, but…

Ronn Ives: As you certainly know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I walk outside my home this morning. Out in front yard was a baby rabbit about the size of an apple, I swear. Then I walked around to the back, and there was the rabbit, but…
…it was now about the size of a cat! I walked back to the front, and there it was AGAIN, but it’d shrunk back to the size of an apple. I ran in the house. True story. These Signs have me all jittery…

Ronn Ives: I need another cup of coffee.

Karin Bartimole: I am very scared… verrrrry scared.

Ronn Ives Psssst.. quiet!!!

Ronn Ives: As you certainly MUST know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: May 21 = 7 X 3 !!!!! 21 !! True story! (See the 3 stories down below!!)

Ronn Ives: As you certainly MUST know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: We had pizza tonight. I REFUSED to have a THIRD slice!!! True story! (See the Signs down below!)

Ronn Ives: As you certainly MUST know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I had groups of people arrive at my store today. All the groups had THREE people! True story! (Read the Sign below!!)

Ronn Ives: As you certainly MUST know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: This afternoon, starting at THREE o’clock, THREE rains came and went. This was The Trinity of Rains, similar to The Bermuda Triangle and The Three Stooges… you understand? True story!

I’ve seen ALL The Signs of the Coming Judgment, my Friends. I will continueth to posteth them… eth for you… all… eth.

Judgment Day: May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Actually, if THIS is a Sign, it’s a pathetic one: I hear the tee-vee show “Survivor” plans to broadcast live. Now THAT’S entertainment!!! True story!

Judgment Day is May 21st, 2011, c. 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. If THIS is a Sign, it’s a dull one: I hear the tee-vee show “Gilligan’s Island” will be re-run as a “How-To” show. THAT’S entertainment? True story!

Judgment Day is May 21st, 2011, c. 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. If THIS is a Sign, it’s one from Hell: I hear the tee-vee show “Lost in Space” will be re-run 24/7 this week on all channels! True story!

Judgment Day is May 21st, 2011, c. 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. If THIS is a Sign, it’s a surreal one: I hear the tee-vee show “I Love Lucy” will be re-run as a “Drama” with no laff-track. True story!

Ronn Ives: As you certainly MUST know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Actually, if THIS is a Sign, it’s a pathetic one: I’m BORED. BORED with this Judgment Day stuff. I don’t think I can hold out to the 21st. I need more entertainment!!! True story!

Ronn Ives: Provide some entertainment!!!

Kendell Snyder: I’ve been watching these updates and laughing my butt off the entire time. Here in DC they have flooded the city with them, there are protesters, signs, even advertisements on the public transporation! SO, just in case it’s true, Saturday afternoon I’m gonna grab a pack of Joe Camels, a bottle of Jack, and put in “casablanca” and that’s going to be my entertainment. How much better of a “goodbye” could you give?

Ronn Ives: Kendell, that’s a damned good idea! And, if by “watching these updates” you mean MY Seeing the Signs, I’m glad I could help. True story!!!

Kendell Snyder: lol

Paul Casper: Check out this list of previous Doomsday predictions!  http://www.bible.ca/pre-date-setters.htm

Ronn Ives: As you certainly MUST know by now, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: “STOP”! There is no longer any reason for any person to exaggerate or lie to another person. Imagine… starting today, SIX short days of everyone telling nothing but the Truth!! True story!

Ronn Ives: As you KNOWeth, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Starting today, our LAST SIX DAYS will be filled with everyone telling nothing but the Truth!! For example, look down… NO ONE thinks you should wear THOSE shoes. Throw them out your car window tonight. Truth!

Ronn Ives: As you KNOWeth, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Starting today, our LAST SIX DAYS will be filled with everyone telling nothing but the Truth!! For example, all that Ikea crap you bought? It’s time to look-at-it-wrong and make it fall-to-pieces. Bonus: You’ll feel like a powerful psychic! True!

Ronn Ives: As you KNOWeth, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Starting today, our LAST SIX DAYS will be filled with everyone telling nothing but the Truth!! For example, there’s a REASON all underwear SHOULD be white and made of cotton… and you know it. Prepare for the End. Truth!

Ronn Ives: As you KNOWeth, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: You’ve mowed your last lawn, have no reason to ever wash dishes again, and, really, if you want to get down to it, toilette flushing is becoming an option. True story!

Ronn Ives: As you KNOWeth, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: If you own a Boa Constrictor, Alligator, or Locust collection, it’s time to let them go. True story!

Ronn Ives: As you KNOWeth, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: There’s no longer any “big” reason to worry about all those dangerous Made-in-China electric lamps bursting into flames. If they don’t last to the May 21st, you can always stay with a friend for those last few days anyhow. Or, if you’re asleep when it happens, hey, what’s six days? True story!

Andy Fouss: You need to get out into the sun more….:P

Ronn Ives: Dude, You don’t think I sit in that sidewalk chair ENOUGH already?!!!

Andy Fouss: Hmmm……use sunscreen, must be the ozone or something….

Ronn Ives: As you KNOWeth, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: I know a whole bunch of people who are now making little religious figurines out of the dust bunny material around their houses. True story!

Ronn Ives: As you KNOWeth, Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m..

I’ve seen all The Signs. Really, ALL of them. Example: First, I was thinking that yesterday was the last time I would clip my fingernails. Then I remembered they keep growing after you’re dead. I’m pretty upset about this. True story!

Ronn Ives: Oh oh. It’s certain Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m.!

I’ve seen all The Signs. Really, ALL of them. Example: I was putting strawberries on my cereal this morning, and I saw that some are beginning to get squishy spots and mold!! It IS a Sign!

Ronn Ives: Yeh, breakfast did not go all that well this morning, as you can read. I’m already nervous about it for tomorrow…

Kamila Roslerova Williams: You should start indulging in the serious breakfast things – pizza, beer, ice cream, etc. None of it will have time to get squashy over the next 4 days:-)

Ronn Ives: You are SO smart! Thank you, K. !!

Ronn Ives: Oh oh. It’s certain Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m.!

I’ve seen all The Signs. Really, ALL of them. Example: As usual, I was out counting the birds in my neighborhood this morning, and one of them is missing!! It IS a Sign!

Matt Strelecki: Which time zone? East coast, west coast…

Ronn Ives: East Coast. The missing bird was at exactly, and GET THIS, Matt!!! – 5:21 !!! That’s May 21 !!!

Matt Strelecki: East coast? That makes it “around” 5:30 my time…could it actually be 5:21 my time??? Noooooooooo!

Ronn Ives: Well… um… I think there IS 9 minutes between your house and mine, though.

Ronn Ives: Oh oh. It’s certain Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m.!

I’ve seen all The Signs. Really, ALL of them. Example: This morning, using my Krups machine, I was grinding my coffee beans. As they reached a fine grind, the grinding sound changed to a choral version of Wagner’s “The Ride of the Valkyries”!!! Ja, It IS der Sign!

Ronn Ives: Oh oh. It’s certain Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m.!

I’ve seen all The Signs. Really, ALL of them. Example: Right now, it is 9:09 a.m. EST. When I subtracted 388 (the # of birds I counted this morning – see below), I got 521 !!!! That’s 5-21 !!! That’s May 21 !!! It IS a Sign!

Manoli Farm: Is that Eastern Daylight Time?

Connie Blanchard: ‎6:30 pm……………… should I eat dinner or not?????

Ronn Ives: Manoli, Yes. Connie, Sure, what the hell.

Ronn Ives: Oh oh. It’s certain Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m.!

I’ve seen all The Signs. Really, ALL of them. Example: Today, I planned on painting part of the house. Earlier, it looked like rain. Now the sun is out. I KNOW this is a trap. No way will I fall for it!! It IS a Sign… or something!

Ronn Ives: Oh crap! At first I thought it was a joke, but it’s CERTAIN – Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m.!

I’ve seen all The Signs. Really, ALL of them. Example: You know what Saturday is? “Armed Forces” Day. Do you think it refers to the military? I think not!! It refers to Kali!!! It IS a Sign.

Ronn Ives: Seriously, I’m about to give up! At first I thought it was a joke, but it’s CERTAIN – Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m.!

ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT! I’ve seen all The Signs. Really, ALL of them. Example: Oh, never mind. The problem is there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s been nice knowing you.

Wait, there are a few religious icons at FUTURES Antiques… It couldn’t hurt…

Steve Bayer: Do you have any handcarts? I think that will be my mode of transportation that day.

Ronn Ives: I’m done sold out. Fine condition, antique hobo carts ARE NOT easy to find, Steve! I’ll let you know if I get lucky before Saturday evening.

Ronn Ives: I’m about to give up! It’s CERTAIN – Judgment Day will be here May 21st, 2011, at about 6:30 p.m.!

ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT! I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Oh, never mind. The problem is there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s been nice knowing you.

Wait, what if at that exact time you were kneeling in your garden harvesting plant lives… ?? It couldn’t hurt…

Ronn Ives: Some of you wish I’d give up, I know! But, it’s CERTAIN – Judgment Day, here, May 21st, 2011, 6:30 p.m.!

ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT! I’ve seen all The Signs. Example: Oh, never mind. The problem is there’s nothing we can do about it.

Wait, what if you went out to our local religionut’s house and laid down in his yard with your arms folded over your chest… ?? It couldn’t hurt…

Ronn Ives: It’s CERTAIN – Judgment Day, here, May 21st, 2011, 6:30 p.m.!

ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT! The problem is there’s nothing we can do about it. If ONLY – SOMEONE – had a DIRECT LINE to a Mighty Big Power…

Wait, what if you sent a postcard to our local religioman’s house and asked him to make a personal call just for you?? It couldn’t hurt…

Ronn Ives: It’s CERTAIN – Judgment Day, here, May 21st, 2011, 6:30 p.m.!

BLINDING WHITE LIGHT SPECIAL!!!! ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT! Act fast!! If ONLY – SOMEONE – had a DIRECT LINE to a Mighty Big Power…

Wait, what if we all stacked ourselves into a huge Human Pyramid and asked our local religiodolt to stand at the peak? During a lightning storm? It couldn’t hurt… us.

Ronn Ives: It’s CERTAIN – Judgment Day, here, May 21st, 2011, 6:30 p.m.!

BLINDING WHITE LIGHT SPECIAL!!!! ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT! Act fast!! If ONLY – SOMEONE – had a DIRECT LINE to a Mighty Big Power…

Wait, what if we all stacked ourselves into a huge Human Pyramid and asked our local religiodolt to stand at the peak? During a lightning storm? It couldn’t hurt… us.

Dean Heffelman: I thought my freind was going crazy until I read about it in the newspaper so it must be true since I read it…true story… 3 more days

Dean Heffelman: ‎…also just heard it on cnn…must be true…true story…3 more days

Ronn Ives: You KNOW me! Have I EVER uttered ONE word of b.s.. ??????????????????????????? There ya go!!

Steve Bayer: ONE word, singularly? No….. but I am in constant admiration of your ability to string multiple words together forming a most eloquent line of b.s. :)

Lisa Trengove-Jones: ditto Steve Bayer! haha!

Ronn Ives: Steve, Steve, Steve, and Lisa… I set up Dean for that comeback and you jumped in and took it from him! Shame, Shame, Shame on you opportunists!!!

Lisa Trengove-Jones: oh well, better luck next time

Ronn Ives: Dean wasn’t lurking, waiting…. like you two!!!

Steve Bayer: hrmph! In the official Facebook terms and conditions of use, page 12, paragraph 3.4.a, it specifically states “If a posting is not commented upon within 2 minutes, ANY user is free to respond to it.” and… *I* waited THREE minutes.

Ronn Ives: Steve. I didn’t know about the FB Rule Book. I bow to your skolarliness. Amen.

Steve Bayer: That’s OK.. I lives to edukate.

Ronn Ives: I knows you dew.  btw, not to be picky, but that’s “eduMAkate”.

Dean Heffelman: guess I’m late to the party again…

Steve Bayer: I believe most who know me would say that my tutelage has more of an “eduVAkate” effect.

Ronn Ives to Dean, sometimes that means everyone else gets to turn around and go “Oh LOOK! It’s DEAN!!!”

Ronn Ives: Steve, Wow. Can you say “tutelage” in public?

Ronn Ives: I know a few people who have a “edukissmekate” effect. THANK YOU GOODNIGHT TO EVERYONE IT’S TIME FOR ME TO MAKE THE DRIVE!!!

Steve Bayer: Oh? your store isn’t open yet? I was just in there and picked up quite a few nice things. I left the money on the counter.

Ronn Ives: No problem, buddy. I’ve always been on the Honor System.

Ronn Ives: “Crashing Down” (premier, May 21, 2011): Starring Reverend Mike, God, THOUSANDS of deluded extras pulled off of street corners, and a huge budget for special FX of weather, lightning, fire, and the gnashing of billions of teeth… … in a story about average people who have done ENOUGH and aren’t going to do it – or ANYTHING ELSE – anymore !!! …

‎… This isn’t a beautifully filmed work of art – it’s just a story (increasingly dark, bizarrely funny at times) – but what I like about it is the Period/Artifact quality about American culture, its falling apart, and the stresses put on average Thumpers every day. What would it take for YOU to SNAP and become a Doomsday nut? Watch this, and see if you [deep down and honestly] get any vicarious satisfaction from Rev Mike’s new, increasingly intense way of dealing with the world. The characters are generally two-dimensional (though Mike IS interesting, and God stands out as always), and the plot may not surprise you… but it’s still an interesting, whacked-out trip. Oh, and you know the End.

Ronn Ives: THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO DURING THE BIG JUDGMENT May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

DON’T drive! You could lose control and kill someone!! Wait… they’re dying anyhow! Woo hoo!! It’s “Demolition Derby” time!!

Ronn Ives: THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO DURING THE BIG JUDGMENT May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

Don’t over-eat. You could make yourself ill. Wait… we’re facing Automatic Bulimia anyhow! Woo hoo!!

Ronn Ives: THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO DURING THE UPCOMING BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

Loot. Looting’s a lowdown thing to do. Wait… your loot is gonna be ripped right back out of your hands by Doomsday anyhow. GO FOR IT!! You’ve always wanted to give it a whirl!! Woo hoo!!

Ronn Ives: Things YOU SHOULD NOT DO during THE BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

First of all, don’t fart in an elevator, and secondly, don’t do that chicken-crap thing of putting on a disgusted face and staring at whichever rider looks the most vulnerable. Wait… instead, let ‘em rip and then say “Yeh, THAT was a dandy!! It’s headed your way!!” Woo hoo!!

Ronn Ives: Things YOU SHOULD NOT DO during THE BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

Don’t cuss in public. I know that will be VERY DIFFICULT for many of you. Wait… what the hell… on the last day, let’s all pretend we have Tourette Syndrome and see who can out-do who!! Woo hoo!!

Ronn Ives: Things YOU SHOULD NOT DO during THE BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

Get your usual seasonal bikini waxing. Skip it and go to the beach in your new thong. It’s time everyone saw the real you anyhow! Ladies: You TOO!! Woo hoo!!

Ronn Ives: This was directed at you, Matt!

Ronn Ives: Things YOU SHOULD NOT DO during THE BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

Just because Life is coming to an End does NOT mean you should tell-off people you can’t tolerate. Wait…. what’s the worst that could happen? They KILL you? Plus, if they do, that probably gets your hand stamped as a Martyr! Woo hoo!!

Ronn Ives: Things YOU SHOULD NOT DO during THE BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

Don’t get your secret “Mr. Vengeance” spandex costume out of the closet, and go around wreaking havoc upon those who…. wait…. yeh, DO IT! Woo hoo!!

Ronn Ives: Things YOU SHOULD NOT DO during THE BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

Don’t go over the Reverend Mike’s house and ask if you can join him in his bomb shelter. It shows no Faith on your part. And anyhow, he won’t be able to hear you.

Ronn Ives: Things YOU SHOULD NOT DO during THE BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

DON’T: Dilly-dally. Drink gallons of coffee. RUN everywhere. Shove slow people out of your way. Don’t bother with those “Pardon me’s”. You have SO MUCH to make up for! You CAN’T let all those idiots ruin it for you now!!!

Ronn Ives: Things YOU SHOULD NOT DO during THE BIG JUDGMENT Day of May 21, 2011, c. 6:30 pm:

Don’t: Waste time! Don’t wash, wipe, wish, wonder, wheedle, whine, or weep. Now that you KNOW the End is Near, DO SOMETHING with your life!

However, feel free to willy whack or wocka wocka.

Ronn Ives: Judgment and Doomsday evidence I found in the Bibble:

“Ye, lest ye goeth to thy Doom, yon eldest son must keepeth his lip hair trimmed neatly unto his day of Judgment!”

Ronn Ives: Judgment and Doomsday evidence I found in the Bibble:

“Ye, lest ye goeth to thy Doom, bring one of thy young to the table, delivereth it to eternity, and then partaketh of they young upon sacred pita bread.”

Hey, I just report ‘em.

Ronn Ives: Judgment and Doomsday evidence I found in the Bibble:

“Ye, lest ye goeth to thy Doom, call upon thy seeds and mixeth with yon eggs, calling out ‘Giveth to me over-easy!’, and then Resteth in Peace.”

Hey, I just report ‘em.

Ronn Ives: Judgment and Doomsday evidence I found in the Bibble:

“Ye, lest ye goeth to thy Doom, yon Day will Cometh when said Analogeth Life is forsaken. Know ye this is the Beginning of thy End!!!”

Hey, I just report ‘em.

Ronn Ives: Judgment and Doomsday evidence I found in the Bibble:

“Ye, lest ye goeth to thy Doom, and I sayeth this to thine children of thine children of thine children: ‘Avoideth each and every oneth of yon sidewalk cracks, lest ye doeth great Harm to thine Mother.”

Hey, I just report ‘em.

Ronn Ives: Judgment and Doomsday evidence I found in the Bibble:

“Ye, lest ye goeth to thy Doom, hear loudly yon words of ye pathway corner orators, for They, and ONLY They, knoweth the way to both eternity and a dry place to sleepeth.”

Hey, I just report ‘em.

Ronn Ives: Judgment and Doomsday evidence I found in the Bibble:

“Ye, lest ye goeth to thy Doom, learneth from thy winged creatures that soar above Mankind and release the Truth uponeth thy mind.”

Hey, I just report ‘em.

Ronn Ives: Judgment and Doomsday evidence I found in the Bibble:

“Ye, lest ye goeth to thy Doom, Follow Thy Leader acrosseth yon valleys, alleys, and pallys. Tarry not, for thy hineth is at great Risk.”

I just report ‘em, okay?

Ronn Ives: Further Judgment Day Evidence I personally saw today: A guy said to me “Man, I thought you were joking about that Reverend Mike and all that, but you weren’t!” There ya go.

Ronn Ives: Further Judgment Day Evidence I personally saw today: No joke – I NEVER joke – I again saw the silver Lamborghini DIABLO drive past my store! DIABLO!!! There ya go.

Karin Bartimole likes this.

Justin Kauffman: kit cars dont count

Ronn Ives: ANOTHER Sign!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ronn Ives: Further Judgment Day Evidence I personally saw today: No joke – I NEVER joke – A woman comes in my store and asks “You sell big screen t.v. stands?” I said “They didn’t make them 100 years ago!” There ya go.

Ronn Ives: Further Judgment Day Evidence I personally saw today: No joke – I NEVER joke – A good friend of mine just had a Judgment go in her favor! There ya go.

Ronn Ives: Further Judgment Day Evidence I personally saw today: No joke – I NEVER joke – I was polishing some chrome today and I could not see my reflection. I realized I was a Vampire. Then I polished more and I realized I wasn’t a Vampire! There ya go.

John Schellhase:  Since the end of the world is tomorrow, you mind if I pilfer your album collection? Since you won’t be needing them …

Ronn Ives: No problem John. I’ll leave a note for you. It will direct you to the first one of thousands of the finest vinyl albums of all time. When you find #1, you’ll find a note on it directing you to #2, and so forth. I’ve been working on this for years. As you know, I’ve known this Day was Coming for a VERY long time…

Ronn Ives: I don’t think I can sleep tonight, what with knowing all about Judgment Day tomorrow evening…

Jason Bayless: Amsterdam? it is 5:14am there

Ronn Ives: The Dutch are fine. They know better. Tourists who don’t can go get stoned and sit in Vondel Park and wait… and fall asleep.

Ronn Ives: Oh oh.

It’s already May 21st, c. 6:30 pm, and… oh oh… Status Quo!!!

Ronn Ives: Okay, it’s not 6:30 pm HERE, but it IS in other places, and everyone is still there… SOME with VERY confused expressions… wishing they hadn’t spent their savings on plastic glow-in-the-dark icons.

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave: “We crunched the numbers. Re: the Judgment: There’s no doubt… …our number of followers is plummeting. Damn!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave: “Re: the Judgment: We crunched the numbers… but on a Chinese calculator… and we discovered their calendar is all wrong. We’ll get back to you… In the meantime, keep those offerings comin’ in!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave: “Re: the Judgment: Hey, it ain’t over ’til it’s over!! You just wait-n-see!!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: The batteries were low on our calculators. We’ll go to Quickie Mart, get some new batteries, and get back to ya real soon!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: You just wait! What do those godless foreigners in New Zealand know about prophecies and vanishing when you’re supposed to??????!!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: Hey, if we’re wrong, you have NO RIGHT to Judge us!!! sayeth the… well, sayeth US!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: …………. uh……………. .”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: I didn’t say it! HE did!!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: Don’t blame US! It is Written !!! in our Newsletter!!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: Hey!!! WHICH ONE OF YOU sent us those ‘I’m with Stupid!’ T-shirts????”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: Are YOU hot? I’m getting a little hot… Is it hot in here?….”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: You all misunderstood! What we MEANT was today was “Judging those little Dinner Mints” Day!”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: Hey Dave? Yeh, Mike? Dave, has your clock stopped? No, it hasn’t, Mike. No? Nope.

Damn…”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: Hey Dave. Yeh Mike? Dave, I think we’d better VANISH tonight. You’re right, Dave. I’m already packed, are you? Just let me get this last suitcase of Offerings closed and I’ll be ready…”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: Hey Dave? Yeh Mike? Do you think this will hurt our reputations? Do you mean make them worse? ….. Oh, right. Forget it…”

Ronn Ives: Reverends Mike-n-Dave say: “Re: the Judgment: Hey Dave! Yeh Mike? I heard that in an Ancient tongue the word “judgment” means “the orifice of a donkey’s hindquarters”. Do you think that’s true?, Dave?” “Hell no! I woulda got a Sign if that were True!!”

“God made Earth as one big Special Olympics playing field, and sponsors us all.” – Ronn Ives, 2011

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