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Pass the Gidol

July 31, 2012 by , under Larger Forces at Work.

 

 

Have you ever walked into an antique store and asked the owner to make some XEROX copies for you? Say whaat? Have you ever walked into an antique store and rifled through the owner’s things on HIS/HER desk? No way!?  Huh uh!!  Have YOU ever walked INTO A XEROX SHOP and asked if THEY have any antique beds for sale, and THEN gone behind the counter to look over THEIR desk stuff? Now you’re just talkin’ crazy talk!  You already know from past entries I’m describing my normal day. It’s a Wacky World and I live in it.

This morning I’ve already spilled enough dribbles of coffee to mark my trail.  Then over went my diet cola onto my desk, journal, xeroxes, calendar book, and my stack of “things that need reading”. I now have plenty of evidence I shouldn’t pick up anything of value – not today. In THIS BUSINESS, you’d better listen to these little clues. Survival depends upon it.

I remember reading about MEN having a “monthly cycle” also – the basic, every-28-days cycle – and its effects.  No, none of the obvious signs are there, and I’ve never bothered to track mine often enough to predict the next one. When you think about it, it’s just plain silly to think that men (but not women?) are somehow EXEMPT from the orbital effects of the Moon – pulling at our planet with enough power to affect the tides, etc.. but not our little squishy bodies??

So what ARE the signs? Honestly, I can’t remember if these are ones I read or the ones I’ve only noticed about myself. Chances are they’re going to be similar for all men anyhow…

They include:
– Less focused thinking, scattered, disjointed, disorganized.
– Clumsy, awkward, downright dangerous to himself and others.
– This “period” of time lasts 3-5 daze. I’m closer to three, personally.
THIS alone covers a lot of territory, because not only could I drop and destroy a $10,000. vase (!), but my driving a car through traffic is hazardous as well.

It’s not like I can avoid some of these activities, but I can – when I have the option – ask my wife to drive, and I avoid moving or cleaning things of value.

Some of you are going to think this is pure bull. Fine, but you’ll begin to notice things, and in a year will be telling others about this, as though it was YOUR discovery!

- Moody, nervous, jittery, edgy, defensive.  That’s another one.

 


 

I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: Pass the Gidol.